10 Observations From The Waratahs vs Brumbies Match

The Rolling Maul attends more than a few Waratahs home games each season, but for some reason, last Saturday night's Tahs vs Brumbies match at the old Olympic Stadium generated it's more than fair share of observations. Here they are:

A Melbourne Rebel Fan's International Folly

The Rolling Maul's Melbourne (and token Rebels fan) correspondent reports on his first international assignment; to follow his team to Auckland last weekend. Here's his report...

Note: the views contained in this report are those of the writer only and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Rolling Maul, unless they are particularly funny, in which case they were edits made by The Rolling Maul.

Collective Name Needed For Waratahs Fans

A sporting team isn't a sporting team unless its fans have a collective noun. Just imagine Ferrari without the Tifosi, the English Cricket Team without The Barmy Army, the Green Bay Packers without the Cheeseheads or soccer without hooligans. They add colour, passion and, in the case of soccer, flares and occasionally violence. But it's good, and potentially even inspirational, for the team to see the organised craziness in the cheap seats. It's occasionally also profitable.

So whichever way you look at it, it's time for Waratahs fans to get organised - and get a name.

So Where Exactly Is This Waratahs Corner?

Still waiting. Still waiting for 80 minutes of sublime Rugby by the Waratahs. Still waiting for flowing backline movements. Still waiting for back-to-back wins followed by more wins. Still waiting for impressive wins against quality opposition. So if the Waratahs turned a corner when they recruited Cheika, Hooper and Folau then they're still turning it. Indeed they've been turning it for so long now they've pretty much gone full circle.

So What The Hell Is A Logistics Camp Anyway?

So Quade Cooper hasn’t made the Wallaby ‘Logistics Camp’. Is the surprise here that QC has missed out or that the Wallabies have a Logistics Camp? And what the hell is a Logistics Camp anyway?

When Is A Loss Not A Loss?

When the Waratahs lose.

Last weekend's loss by the Waratahs to the Hurricanes was at least the third time this season that the Tahs have lost a game yet come the next morning all the media talk positive, how the new backline is starting to gel, about how great the attitude is and how just a few technical tweaks, a dollop of time and maybe some personnel changes next season and the team will be humming like a world champion hummingbird in the best humming category.

Lessons Well Learned - Why Kids Should Be Exposed To Live Sports Betting

There's been a lot of kerfuffle in Australia recently about sports betting, and in particular it's infiltration into live coverage of games. But sports betting is an important and vital part of enjoying sport, especially for children.

Are You a Dickhead? Take This Test

What is a dickhead, is Kurtley Beale one, are you, and do the Waratahs have a policy to prevent the recruitment of dickheads?

Brumbies Form A Bonus for the Waratahs (Eventually)

One of the great conundrums of Australian Rugby at the moment is how the Waratahs, a team so bereft of ideas, basic skills and most importantly, winning form, can provide the bulk of the players for the Wallabies. The good news for Waratahs fans, is that the Brumbies are in irresistible form, so irresistible that even Robbie Deans won't be able to resist them come selection time for the Lions tests.

Team Bonding Aint What It Used To Be

News out of South Africa is that the Brumbies have sworn off alcohol, and they all promise to do their homework.

Tahs v Rebels - It's All About The Facial Hair

Last week's attempt to predict the Reds vs Waratahs game was an unmitigated disaster, and that's no reference to what happened on the field which was also pretty dire (though thankfully the PC died at almost the same time as the Foxtel box had a dummy spit - as there was no chance for the Rolling Maul to watch or follow the game then maybe the technology gods were looking out for me).

No, the prediction method last week was too complicated and frankly took too long to develop. How else to explain the incorrect prediction. So this week, The Rolling Maul is dumbing down the prediction model to the lowest common denominator - manliness.

As everyone knows, real men have facial hair, so each of the following players in the Waratahs vs Rebels game is rated out of 5 by their facial hair as it appears either in their profile photo on their team's website:

WARATAHS

Benn Robinson         4
Tatafu Polota-Nau    5
Sekope Kepu           0
Mitchell Chapman    0  
Kane Douglas    1
Dave Dennis (c)    0
Michael Hooper        0
Wycliff Palu            0
Brendan McKibbin   2
Bernard Foley           1
Drew Mitchell            0
Tom Carter            0
Adam Ashley-Cooper 3
Tom Kingston     0
Israel Folau             0
Reserves
John Ulugia                3
Jeremy Tilse             0
Paddy Ryan             4
Greg Peterson     5
Lopeti Timani             0
Matt Lucas             0
Ben Volavola             0


GRAND TOTAL  28

REBELS 

Nic Henderson         0  

Ged Robinson          0
Laurie Weeks           4
Hugh Pyle                  2
Caderyn Neville        0
Luke Jones                0
Scott Fuglistaller       1
Scott Higginbotham  5
Nick Phipps               0
Kurtley Beale             3
Richard Kingi             0
Rory Sidey                 0
Mitch Inman                0
Lachlan Mitchell         4
James O’Connor (c)  0
Reserves
Shota Horie                3
Paul Alo-Emile           2
Jordy Reid                  1
Jarrod Saffy                3
Nic Stirzaker               2
Angus Roberts           0
Tom English               0

GRAND TOTAL         30


THE VERDICT
Shock. Horror.  It will be close but the Rebels will edge out the Waratahs by a whisker! While across the park the two teams are almost identical it's in the middle ranges of facial growth, the almost-beards, 5-day growths and wanna-be moustaches where the Rebels have a razor-thin edge (groan).

OK, so there's always next week.

Rating the Waratahs and the Reds (Again)

It's assessment time at The Rolling Maul. So with the Waratahs taking out the pre-season title for the 12th year running, and in the process scoring a new record for talking themselves up, revealing new star recruits and going even further in their exploration of facial hair (Berrick - a mustache - really?), a system is required to sort fact from fiction and find a way of rating the Tahs against their opponents.

But don't worry, the Tom Carter Scale of Averageness lives on within the brand new 'Overall Value' score. The score adds up the players rating from their performance in 2012, their Tom Carter rating (TCV), their over or underrated score (over = 1, rated = 2, under = 3), their manliness (out of 5 based on the extent of their facial hair) and a Fwoah factor out of 5 based upon attractiveness as determined by Mrs Rolling Maul.

So here's this week's Waratahs and Reds starting XVs and below that a breakdown of the Tahs and how the scores are worked out in more detail: