Predictions, Ponderings and Hybernation

The Rolling Maul has a history as indeed everyone does. The Rolling Maul developed from my weekly rant to the tipsters in a tipping competition I run. Tipsters compete for the My Boy Sherman perpetual trophy, a rubber Crusaders sword which hangs proudly and permanently (except for my bucks party where it was taped into my hand for the night - a night that just happened to coincide with the Crusaders defeating the Waratahs in the Super 12 final) in My Boy Sherman's spare bedroom, My Boy Sherman being the inaugural and only two-time winner of the trophy which bears his name.

So the Rolling Maul has been designed to keep tipsters and others punters and fans entertained during the dark months, those months when Australian Provincial Rugby teams are flogged unmercifully from one side of the Southern Hemisphere to the other (it beginning and ending somewhere just outside of Christchurch I imagine).

Of course the Rugby season never sleeps and nor should it. Already the Australian season extends from February till October if you include the World Cup. This is plainly unacceptable as Rugby should be played all year round including during major religious festivals, indeed big games like Randwick vs Easts should be public holidays with matches played in front of hundreds of thousands (unlike current games which are played in front of hundreds and thousands - not people of course, those tiny multi-coloured balls of sugar that go so yummily on fairy bread at kids, and my, parties).

Nevertheless, the Rolling Maul is a hobby and not a career, not yet anyway, and, much like a Wallaby forward, must catch its breath from time to time. So between now and the World Cup (when the Rollong Maul will be back with a vengeance) postings to the Rolling Maul will be occasional and irregular, much like Matt Dunning's appearances for the Wallabies.

But I leave you for the meantime with some predictions about the upcoming international (and other bits) season:

1. The Wallabies take comfort from easy wins over Wales and Fiji and being competitive against an All Blacks side weakened through injuries and an insane policy of resting players for half the Super 14. They come back to earth at altitude against South Africa and lose by 50. The Bring Back Eddie campaign begins in earnest now that he's got his Queensland baggage out of the way.

2. Australia A win the Pacific Nations Cup in a thrilling court case against the Junior All Blacks when it is revealed that most of them are well over school age. New Zealand argues that most of the Junior All Blacks never finished school so it should count.

3. The Australian Rugby Championship is declared a success by the ARU and the 17 people who went along to watch a game during the season. The Sydney Fleet take the title and declare the trophy, made from the discarded remains of the ARU trophy cabinet which was sitting around empty for years, justifies the long and proud history of the club.

4. England struggles in the Six Nations to victories over Italy and Wales. Their coach says they've turned a corner, everybody else knows they've turned four and are back where they started.

5. Italy again win a couple of Six Nations matches and claim to be a chance of making the World Cup knockout stage. That's a load of bollocks and they get flogged.

6. New Zealand experiment with 54 players during the Tri-Nations and other lead up games. They have to though as 19 of them get injured through poor conditioning and match practice. Come World Cup time the recriminations have already begun and Graham Henry's team struggle all the way to an embarassing loss in the semi-final, again.

7. South Africa make the final.

8. But France win it.

Comments

Phonic Monkey said…
Phonic's bold prediction...

Wallabies to get food poisoning after eating contaminated snails

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