20 Rugby World Cup Final (and Bronze Final) Predictions

1. French taxi drivers will postpone their strike to watch the bronze final.

2. The Argentinian President will fly into Paris to watch the match.

3. Nicolas and Cecilia Sarkozy will reunite in order to demonstrate unity with the French Rugby team.

4. Nelson Mandela will be playing golf with Gordon Brown as the Final kicks off.

5. John O'Neill will wish the English Rugby team good luck and no hard feelings.

6. The English soccer team will admit to losing to Russia because they were so excited about the Rugby they couldn't concentrate.

7. Jonny Wilkinson will decide to take the day off from kicking practice on Friday.

8. Mike Catt and Lawrence Dallaglio will decide to keep playing to the next World Cup irrespective of the result.

9. Gilbert admit they stuffed up the manufacture of the balls and apologise to Stirling Mortlock.

10. Tongan Rugby players decide Tonga is the third best Rugby playing nation on the planet based upon results in the World Cup. Fiji disputes this and the two countries go to war.

11. English forwards practice sidesteps and goose steps as a way of avoiding tackles.

12. Bryan Habana admits he wasn't chosen on merit but because he can almost outrun a cheetah.

13. An All Black supporter decides to sell his ticket to the final at face value.

14. The bronze final outrates early morning cartoons in Australia and New Zealand.

15. So enamoured are the IRB by the English style of Rugby that they agree to increase the number of players on the field to 17 and increase the value of a field goal to 4 points. SANZAR agrees.

16. Percy Mongomery forgets to bleach his hair on the morning of the final.

17. The English Rugby team admit they are all republicans and refuse to sing 'God Save The Queen'.

18. An English back wins man of the match.

19. Argentina 3 France 0

20. England 40 South Africa 39