More Rugby Jargon

Being a Rugby blogger or journalist is easy if you know how. Rugby is a simple game played by simple people and with this guide to Rugby Jargon (the sequel to the original 'Rugby Jargon') you too can write Rugby articles as simple as a referee's interpretation at the breakdown...

Determination
The effort required to overcome incompetence. Good players don't require determinination. They use skill.

Persistance
The ability to hang around and wait for things to fall in your lap. Good players don't need persistance, they just go and get the job done. For example: "We required determination and persistance to win this match". Translation: "We should have won by 40".

Spirit
The sense of mateship and camaraderie felt only by winning sporting teams. Winning breeds spirit, not the other way round.

Licence to Thrill
Desperation. When all hope is lost a coach will give a struggling player a 'licence to thrill' in the forlorn hope they'll remember how to play and thus trigger some club spirit.

Dangerous
A dangerous player is just as likely to run into his teammate and cause a serious injury as he is to injure himself.

Free-running
Has no idea what to do and is extremely dangerous especially when given a licence to thrill.

Plan
The result of hours spent pouring over videotape and compiling of statistics. Usually takes the form of one word: 'kick' or 'run'.

Execution
The killing of a well-laid plan.

Attack Focussed
A plan involving lots of free-running by dangerous players.

Playmaker
The player in a team best equipped to execute a plan.

Foundation
The ability of a forward pack to tie the ball up in rucks and barely moving rolling mauls for minutes at a time.

Group
Franchise is to Club what Group is to Team.

Space
The upper tier of the Sydney Football Stadium when the Waratahs play.

Recycle
The employing of a washed up old Rugby player from another country by desperate Super 14 teams (eg Carlos Spencer, Andre Pretorius, Danny Cipriani...).

Blindside
Where recycled players hide from the action in the hope no one will see them taking a breather.

Maturity
The wisdom that comes with the experience of past failures that ensures that recycled players know where to best take a breather.

Grinding
The noise made by a coach's teeth when he realises where his expensive recycled players are taking a breather.

Long-term Prospect
The opposite of a recycled player.

Challenge
A difficult task that is best avoided.

Playing Ugly
Not giving the punters what they want to see. The way most Rugby teams react to a challenge.

Expansion
Ewen McKenzie's waistline

Comments

Popular Posts