Not Tonight Dear - I Have Waratahs Supporters Migraine

Health authorities are reported to be considering advising Waratahs supporters to limit their viewing of Waratahs matches to small doses if they are to avoid debilitating bouts of Waratahs Supporters Migraine.

Incidents of Waratahs Supporters Migraine, or WSM, are increasing across New South Wales. As the Waratahs continue to lose matches they should win, fall asleep after half-time, drop balls with the line open, and kick good possession away and down the throats of the opposition, the incidents are also becoming more frequent and more painful.

Associated sypmtoms include depression, nausea, stress and bouts of screaming at the television.WSM also has elements of periodic pains as supporters in groups are known to suffer at the exact same moment. This can be recognised amongst the sufferers by the hand not carrying the beer glass being slapped against the forehead at the instance the pain hits.

Severe cases of WSM are associated with memory loss, though this is the only positive symptom known.

WSM is contagious. Unaffected Waratahs supporters have been known to contract WSM when in close proximity to carriers, usually during post-match analyses. Unique to WSM, it can also be transmitted electronically or in print, often via internet forums, in chat rooms, and by Greg Growden in the Sydney Morning Herald.

Sufferers of WSM are advised to watch the Queensland Reds or Canterbury Crusaders or limit their viewing of Waratahs matches to the first 10 minutes.

All Waratahs supporters are advised to not, under any circumstances, view The Code on Foxtel on Thursday nights at 9:30pm. It sucks.